untitled (‘I believed in a love’)

I believed in a love.
If it’s a love, then it can’t die, or it isn’t a love.
If it’s a love, then it’s going to exist forever.
So I believed it couldn’t die.
I believed it would exist forever,
Always be there to comfort me, convince me that the world’s
Not lost yet.

But it took a wrong path.
Not a blind alley. A valley
with sides it couldn’t scale. A trench
full of suffocating black oblivion.
A dungeon canyon stretching forever.

Its aimed screams were lost
then quelled
And it died a slow, ugly death.
It tore itself apart.

I watched too closely and the cold wind touched me.
I got too near and the fetid stink drenched me.

I couldn’t run,
I couldn’t leave it,
In my desperate hope that it might recover
I knew it couldn’t.

Now I know that, since it died,

It wasn’t a love.
It wasn’t! Though I’d believed so fervently
And my grief is for it and the world
Because it wasn’t a love, just a
temporary affection.
This grief is worse, a million times more tearing,
Than my grief for its death.

Missing (The dragging hunger)

Well I’ve got you here in voice
I can get you anytime I want!
For a short time of joy
Only to be followed by the dragging hunger.
Well I’ve got you here in image
Oh yes! I can see the image
Reading expressions into it.

The dragging hunger
And tonight,
tonight it is another year.
It seems like
While you stay away.
And I will get so close
I will breathe your sweat!
And end the dragging hunger.

Night Walk

You walk from the flat with the comfortable chairs
Out the door and down the stairs
Over the bridge across the river’s mud
Around a puddle of glass and blood
Past the freeway with its eyes on fire
Near a church with a nightlight spire
Through the park with the lurking corners
And a wailing collection of midnight mourners
Past sleeping cars in their streetside beds
And familiar bodies with strangers’ heads
Below buildings whose lights go on by day
Alien as the games their occupants play
In corpulent corporate canyons grand
— United we fall, divided we stand —
And you’re glad to bathe in the milken night
Those day people can keep their light!

(First published in Raven)