his dragon, his wings

that wasn’t my bell it was his,
it was his, his bell, his smell,
his line, his tab of acid,
his line of cocaine, coke, his coke,
his glass of coffee, his exquisite corpse,
his sick meta-writing, it wasn’t mine,
it was his, his, it was never mine,
Nevermind, all those boys, chanting,
all those men, boys, that
Dancing with Wolves Avatar hero,
flying in on a dragon or on
his own wings to save us all,
     but not to save me, they weren’t
     my wings they were his, his dragon,
     his wings, that wasn’t my bell it was his,
and I am so sick of all his names for things

so i can see

“Tourist Trap”, a photomontage by Thomas Barbèy

the asphalt street takes women
children hats trams fences down
between the buttresses
of a rainforest grandmother tree
with thick spreading arms
Dali signs the brain
of the artist who Photoshops
so I can see
the entrance
in game worlds
with laws of physics
set by a programmer
my son meets his friends
on his Surface he makes a city
with lights in shop windows
hangs lanterns
meticulously over the square
using the tip of his stylus
Dali signs the brain
with thick spreading arms
the asphalt street takes women
at a workshop in a room
with purple walls
orange tables
and lime green couches
with laws of physics
I feel sick and take
a walk outside
the entrance
so I can see
the rainbow

Ten sentences about atoms

1. We say I’m made of atoms.
2. When we say I it means my body, brain breasts belly legs feet.
3. When we say atom it means some neutrons and protons and a vast space with a few bits in it.
4. To get a sense of the vastness, focus on the nucleus.
5. Why must my awareness be focused in this little nucleus?
6. The electrons are so far away, like stars.
7. Does the universe have hardware, or only firmware?
8. David Bohm thinks space and time are emergent properties of a deeper level.
9. Does the body have hardware, or only firmware?
10. Hardware, firmware and bits don’t make it a box.

0. We put in the zero once we had made the other numbers.

-1. Counting to zero is quite something.
-2. Counting to -1 is something else.

In IT slang ‘box’ means a computer, a machine.

The dust-encrusted crush

Unlike you, kid,
she says,
he never did anything —
just kicked balls
and chased rabbits

At 12 I watched him, 15,
tossing hay off the flatbed —
tanned deltoids,
torn singlet,
low-slung jeans,
calling to the cows

I never got to touch
his dull white scars
or hear his
baby cry

His was the cry of the power tool —
the diamond saw dividing a brick,
the rotating driveshaft sticking out of the back
of the tractor, the three-point linkage

I wrote him imaginary letters,
the dull white voice of the paper
flickering in my hands

Last time I saw him
I was 29 and married
The dust-encrusted crush
shook itself off,
rose and swirled in my head
like a ghost violin,
but there was nothing
we could talk about
Like she said
he’d kicked balls
and chased tails

The door with its old brass hook
where once I’d hung
my cowy heart
stayed shut.

First published in Creatrix